Still Standing

So, Elisabeth asked me today... "Are you still yawning?" I hadn't realized how much time had gone by since my last post. I still don't have much to write. Lately, I've been thinking a lot about the idea of forgiveness. With this whole situation with Jessica, my family has been run through the mill. I feel as though I have been run over by a train repeatedly. I find that most of the time I am exhausted and no matter how much I sleep, it's never enough. Jess has finally come around. She moved back to my parents' house today. I'm having mixed emotions. While I am glad she's out of the situation, I am still relating to the Dixie Chicks' most recent song: NOT READY TO MAKE NICE Words & Music by Emily Robison, Martie Maguire, Natalie Maines, Dan Wilson Forgive, sounds good Forget, I'm not sure I could They say time heals everything But I'm still waiting I'm through with doubt There's nothing left for me to figure out I've paid a price And I'll keep paying I'm not ready to make nice I'm not ready to back down I'm still mad as hell and I don't have time to go round and round and round It's too late to make it right I probably wouldn't if I could 'Cause I'm mad as hell Can't bring myself to do what it is you think I should I know I'll get there, but the hurt is still too fresh. I've been called every name in the book and have had to endure the humiliation of letting the state police, our two school officers and all three of my school administrators into what should have been my private life because the idiot boyfriend threatened to hurt me. It totally sucks when the arbitrary decisions of others can effect you so much.