Teaching....

I received some really bad news last week... I thought I should share it with you. Many of you know that my first two years teaching in the good old USA have been difficult for many reasons. First, returning from Singapore, I was badly beaten down. It's funny that Christians can be the worst people to work for and/or with. I don't want to rehash it all now, but every now and then I go back and look at the email explaining why I wasn't qualified to continue teaching there. Looking back at it, I now have the experience to know that the mistakes I made were typical of new teachers everywhere. For awhile, I thought maybe I shouldn't teach. Because of these complaints laid against me, I was afraid to go back to the classroom. For the last two years, I have been waiting for the other shoe to drop. For the last two years, I have been afraid that my administrators and my department head have been praising me to my face, but planning secret meetings with HR to discuss my shortcomings and plan my firing. For the last two years, I have been somewhat afraid to talk to parents. Because it was a parent who initiated the Singaporean Inquisition, I am always afraid that I will make a grammatical error in a letter home and be stoned... English teachers, after all, don't make mistakes. It is difficult to perrform a job well, when you're constantly concerned that you're really a fraud and the powers that be will discover it at any moment. Second, when I was hired to my current position, I wasn't quite sure what it would mean. I was hired to a new program my school was implementing. Apparently, my English background made me relatively qualified, but I wouldn't be teaching literature. Once I walked into my classroom, I learned that no one really knew what the job would entail. The program was 2 years old, and no one was really saying what it should look like. I spent last year listening carefully, and I think I finally figured out how to handle the program and how to set it up. This year, the folks who come in to observer were thrilled with what they saw. My kids are making tremendous strides, and my coteacher and I are incredibly happy working together. This last statement was not true last year. Which leads me right to point three. The teacher I was working with last year, was a little older and did not adjust well to the program change. She spent the last 2 years bucking the system, whining about how it didn't work and she couldn't do what she was expected to do. Each time I presented a new idea, she found 5,000 reasons why it wouldn't work, before we ever tried. This year she's been out on medical leave and my other co-teacher and I have been meeting with great success. This leads in to my news! I was hired as a part time teacher. This means: I work 32 hours a week... A full time teacher works 35. It seems like it should be fairly silly right. Well, let me tell you what 3 hours a week means. Those 3 hours are worth another $15,000 a year, 15 sick days instead of 5 and 3 personal days. It's insane! Long story short, my former coteacher has decided to retire, opening up a full time position for me. Everyone expected that I would get the job. I received word on Tuesday, that this would not be the case. A 58 year old English teacher, not aware of what the job entails, has decided he/she would like to spend his last couple of years in the school system at my school. Seeing the non-descript English position posted, this person decided to transfer to MY JOB!!!! I still have the part time position, but....... In the past week, I've dealt with the blow, and am learning to adjust... Thanks to those who've had patient conversations with me, and who allowed me to vent! It also helps that there was quite a bit of alcohol involved! My main hope is that I'll be able to continue teaching and leading next year without resenting this new teacher who basically robbed me of the job I earned and deserved!