Imagine the worst thing that could ever happen to you.... Magnify by infinity... then add a lifetime

When I was a kid, the worst thing I could imagine was a dinner that included mashed potatoes and brussel sprouts. I used to take the sprouts and bury them in my potatoes then add way too much salt, hoping to get out of eating the food I'd played with until it became unrecognizable. If making it inedible didn't fool my dad, I'd rip up little pieces of napkin and stick them to my potatoes. Thus, making them really inedible. How trivial that, and the rest of my whiny posts seem today. This morning I woke up at 4:40am and lay on the couch at my parents' house knowing that in a few short hours we would proceed to the Doherty Brothers Funeral home where I will see my younger brother for the final time. How is it possible to wake up and go about a typical morning routine knowing that in too few hours you will bury your 20 year old brother? How is it possible to go out into the world not caring that your face looks as though you were in a fight with Mohammed Ali? How do you look to the future when the grief is so all-consuming, when life is just not fair, and a boy who deserved the best things in life, and so much more than he had the chance to experience will never walk through my door again? I know that my family is being completely bathed in prayer right now, and to those of you who have been praying and continue to do so, all I can say is thank you. It is because of you and the faith that we share that I know that eventually, even this will hurt less. I know I will see Jeremy again. And I know that the world is not an entirely hopeless place to live. I just wish I could have better conveyed that to him. I have been tremendously blessed by the outcry of love for my Jeremy. He was an amazing young man, and I'm not sure there was anyone out there who could say that they truly disliked him. As I close, I am sure that he is home with his Savior, and that when the angels met him on Thursday morning there was much rejoicing. While those of us left behind mourn the loss of a life taken too young, I am sure that Jeremy is there beside Jesus saying, "Man, I gotta tell ya, this set-up you've got here is all right, but I could do so much to amp your horsepower." I know that my broken heart will heal, but in the mean time: Jeremy - I love you. I always, always will. And though the pain of losing you will dull, I will never stop missing you.