I Should Be Out The Door and On My Way to School

AAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH HHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Just needed to say that... Thanks

Just When You Think It Can't Get Worse..... It Does!!!!

So, I've reposted an entry from the old Blog. It's here mostly because I look back at that date and the emotion I was feeling and know that, while I thought the situation was the worst we'd seen with Jess, it has escalated to the level of Lifetime Movie. It almost sounds like a joke. But, truly, the situation is getting out of hand. Something like 2 weeks ago, my mom was scheduled to work 3rd shift at her hospital (She's an RN). Jessica was there waiting for her in the parking lot. Mom was immediately concerned. Jess told her she needed gas money and began to cry saying that the boyfriend had burned her with cigarettes, and hit her and that she was so tired of him treating her like crap. Well, long story short most of that was true. He has been burning her with cigarettes, he's been hitting her and we've since learned that he also choked her and ripped the rear spoiler off her car. The untruth... She's not tired of it. In fact, she moved out of my parents' house and in with the ass. Despite the pleas from friends and family, she insists that he LOVES her and that she LOVES him and that despite the bad, he's going to change!!! Tonight, I was at my parents' house. Jess stopped to get her mail. She came inside alone. I thought that meant she'd been smart enough to leave the boyfriend at his mother's. She completely ignored my dad and I. Tried stirring up my mom (I think she may be on the verge of wanting to come home, but wants my mom to beg her to do it) and left without another word. I left a short time after she did. I walked out to my car to find that the ass had been with her and had thrown empty cigarette cartons and various other articles of garbage all over my car. It seems like such a small thing... But now, not only has she been beaten by this creep, but she's seen him treat her family without even a hint of respect (Last time I saw him, he called me a worthless piece of shit... You know... Because I have a good job, and a car, and my own apartment... And he has a fraudulent workman's comp claim and an unemployment check coming in each month, no vehicle and lives with his mother) and he called my sister Sarah an F***ing whore in front of Jessica. I do not, at all, in the least, understand why she still believes that he is going to be the love of her life and we're all just against her and that we don't want her to be happy.

Reposted from the other Blog... Originally dated 8/3/06

At this precise moment in time I feel as though I am experiencing the gamut of human emotion. I have not been so angry, or worried, or upset, or sad, or hateful, or disappointed at one time in my life ever before! The source of this? My youngest sister. I haven't written much about my family (with the few exceptions of funny anecdotes), mostly because many of them read my blog. If I were to write about them, I'd ask permission first. In this case however... I am so irate, I can't seem to get beyond the red fury before my eyes. Jessica is dating one more in a long string of losers she seems so easily to string along. She has a history of dating boys (they certainly were not men) who take advantage of her (in every possible way) and tend to be either physically, verbally or emotionally (sometimes all three) abusive. This is something I fail to comprehend. My mother always told her daughters, "better to be happily single, than unhappily married." I've known several people who attest to this, and can point to their own failed marriages as a good example of the idea that sometimes having a husband/boyfriend just isn't worth the rest of the baggage. Anyway, the boyfriend has failed to make a positive impression on the family. Not only is he a potty-mouthed chain smoker, he has been foolish enough to treat Jess badly in front of us. On Memorial Day, we had a get together, and my dad, brothers and brother-in-law opened the pool. It was particularly gross this year. When the cover came off, you couldn't see the bottom, it was so green. We later fished out several mutant size toads, and multiple dead mice. Jess and Mike were leaving to go to a picnic - she was dressed to go visiting - she stopped to talk to her twin brother, and Mike pushed her in the pool. A couple of weeks ago, he was sitting at the table and made some stupid comment, so she slapped him in the back of the head, to which he replied "Talk about giving me head, eh?" I was disgusted, I quickly informed him that his lewd comments in regards to my sister were unappreciated, and that if he made a statement like that again, I'd cut out is tongue and feed it to Sophie (you remember, the Labradoodle). So, all of this came to a final straw several days ago. I was browsing through myspace. And happened to check in on her profile. Mike had used my brother's myspace account to post a comment on Jess's space. He signed off "C**t Licker (From Mike)". I went through the roof!!!!!! How dare he! How could she? I cannot imagine any woman who would let a guy talk to her that way and continue dating him. And yet, when he tried breaking up with her, she cried and begged him to stay. How can she think so little of herself? How can she allow herself to be so degraded by this lowlife on a routine basis? How can she expect her family to be supportive, when this is what we see? I just came from my parents' house. Today, a friend of his called her job and told them that she was sick and would not be coming in to work tonight! I don't think I will ever understand how she seems to be able to delude herself into thinking that all of her former friends and her family are wrong, and that he is the right one for her, and that he truly loves her!!! What is wrong with the world?

Bad Blogger.... Bad, Bad!!!!

So for some reason, I've not been very faithful in writing lately. Life has been crazy. I haven't really turned my computer on without having a school related motive for the past two weeks. I swear it's true. It's a bad excuse.... And I suppose I should stop whining about it. School has been busy. I met my 10th grade English class last week. (Have I mentioned in the past that my school works on cycles?) I have 16 sophomores, had 17 but one switched out to have another teacher. Out of my 16, 7 have serious behavior problems, I believe 2 could turn out to be sociopaths, 2 are absolutely clueless, 1 is entirely lazy, 3 will behave if threatened, and 2 are absolutely fantastic. Basically, I got the class from hell. So, day one I gave them their options.... 1) They could behave, do what they were asked and we would get along fine and have some fun in English or 2) They could try to mutiny against my dictatorship and I would make their lives miserable this year and fail them for the year ruining summer vacation while they made my class up in summer school. I thought it sounded fair, it put the ball in their court and let them know what the consequences would be of their negative actions. Aside from dealing with my sophomoric monsters, I've already had my first observation by my assistant principal, spent a day out of the building at a training (I've been selected by the powers that be to be trained to teach other people to teach the strategies that I teach my students in my lab classes) and have a CAPT scoring seminar coming up next week. So, life's been crazy! I also made a presentation to the entire staff at school on the Test Taking Strategy that we teach our students. In addition to all of that.... I turned 27 a week ago and (in unrelated news) now have a cold. I have managed to make it through today with the help of some Advil Cold & Sinus. I've been waiting up until now so that I can take some NyQuil and head to bed, hoping to get a good night sleep and be rested up for tomorrow. (I never call in SICK.... I don't get SICK!!!!) So, for my Internet Stalker Friends.... hopefully, this has helped you catch up with my life and I will try to update again soon. OH AND FOR THE GOOD OF THE ORDER - Today is - International Talk Like a Pirate Day So, take a moment to brush up on your pirate lingo... here's the web address http://www.talklikeapirate.com/piratehome.html

History.... According to Me.....

20 years ago yesterday I was in the second grade, two days away from my 7th birthday. When I got off the bus that day my mom was waiting for me. We took a walk down a dirt road near my house. It was on that walk that she told me her mother, my memere, had died. She'd been diagnosed with cancer in June, and as expected had passed away. Two days later, I spent my 7th birthday with Elisabeth and her family while my parents attended my grandmother's funeral. 5 years ago today I was student teaching in Syracuse, NY. I was walking back to the classroom I shared with my cooperating teacher after rushing to make some last minute copies. The school's principal approached us in the hallway saying that the World Trade Center had been hit by a plane. Immediately I asked if there were injuries. No one seemed to know any details. I was imagining small 1-2 seaters at the base of the tower.... As soon as we made it back to the room, my cooperating teacher tuned in to local radio. We listened in shock to the reports. Hearing shortly that a second tower had been hit. Not long after, I almost collapsed when the radio announcer said the towers had fallen. I spent the rest of the morning explaining the details I had, and trying to keep my students minds off of the tragedy. I scolded a few immature freshmen who thought World War III was about to begin and that that was the coolest thing ever. During a late morning class, one of my student's father (a teacher at the school) knocked on my door and called his son out of class. (We had just learned about the plane that hit the Pentagon, Tim's older brother worked there). It felt as though I was holding my breath until he came back into the room. I asked if everything was ok, although I could already read in his face that it was. He said they'd started evacuating as soon as the planes hit the towers and that his brother had been running across the lawn as the plane hit. I spent the remainder of the day in the auditorium watching and rewatching the footage. At the end of the day, I rushed through the door to the house where I was staying, turned on the news and called my parents to see if our friends and family had heard from everyone I knew in New York. The 12th of September has been my birthday for the past 27 years. As it approaches once again, I am reminded of some of the not so good times surrounding it. Tonight, on the 5th anniversary of the 9/11 tragedy, I've been watching the coverage which has included showing much of the original footage. I am still moved by what I see. I still shiver with goosebumps as I think about that terrible day. But I am reminded that there is hope.

I Am Suffering From Sleep Deprivation

I believe I have found a new form of cruel and unusual punishment. It would have to beat out Japanese Water Torture and the Rack. It is called teaching! I have been wanting to update the site for almost 2 weeks now. But for 2 weeks, the few times I've actually booted up the computer it has been to print out a handout, create a notes page or send an email to a parent... (Crap! I was supposed to call a parent after school today!) My days have been spent moving the last few things around my room. I still have a GIANT stack of papers that need to be moved into a filing cabinet. But other than that, most things are ready to go. After some creative work this afternoon, I have a desk! Well, I've always had a desk... But now you can see it!!! When I'm not trying to organize myself, I've been helping my new co-teacher get acclimated to the lab, teaching classes, and running around frantically to get handouts and other various photocopies made! I've been getting home in the evenings and falling asleep on the couch, waking up a few hours later only to drag my exhausted backside to bed. The few days when I haven't followed this routine, I have been babysitting at my parents. Which is where I find myself at the moment. One of these days I'll write specifically about my kids. I've really been enjoying teaching English again. Although after being burned at the stake in Singapore, I'm still a little gun-shy. I find myself constantly wondering if I'm doing a good job. I worry when my students say they like me or my class, and I hate when the special ed teacher comes in to co-teach. And I especially question it when I am selected for specialized training activities. My principal has selected me to become a University of Kansas certified trainer in the learning strategies curriculum we teach to our students. It's a two year process (I think) that will result in my training other teachers to use the curriculum and teach the learning strategies. It's a ctually a pretty big honor to have been selected, and it probably gives me some sense of job security... but, it still makes me a little insecure... not sure why. Well, this has gotten quite lengthy... i should probably get going. I'll write more another time!

Tomorrow

I have been meaning to post about my first week back at school, but each night I have come home with a long list of lesson plans to write, headaches the size of China, and the energy level of a Three-toed Sloth. While I didn't have school today, I am feeling similarly tonight. My head feels as though it's in a vice. So, I just don't think I am up to it tonight... But I will write tomorrow.